I have now officially had the most remarkable hotel experience ever. Adam & Eve claims to be heaven on earth and the song they have on eternity loop in the lobby confirms that “you can never leave” either. Their concept is to take their guests to another world i.e. confuse them to the max and start with using mirrors instead of wallpaper.
You see yourself, your tv and the other guests reflected a thousand times, which makes the place look quite crowded. And big. Look at my room!
I laughed out loud after having made my way through 150 m of a pitch dark hallway. It might be a myth, but I thought human beings like warm, safe, protected places to sleep. Feng Shui and peace. You don’t exactly get that feeling when you finally rest your head on one of the three double beds and have two kilometers of room, beds and 999999 TV screens before and behind you – even though the setup is very stylish. Also, the light changes psychodelically from bright red to dark green to flashing purple. Looks cool from the outside, but inside your room you get dizzy and fall off your plastic bed. Anyone who has tried to read in disco light knows what I am talking about.
Everything is the longest. Biggest. Most ever. Especially the bar with a 20 m high ceiling, 100 meter long room and covered in – guess? – mosaic mirrors. Breakfast is served fivehundredfold in another mirror box:
The service was constantly high from the meadow of napkins surrounding them and served randomly what you had not ordered. Here is A’s quest for a smoothie. He came back with two glasses of sparkling wine and a resigned look on his face. Asked which turn it had taken this time, he repeats the conversation:
– I’d like to order a smoothie, please.
– A smoothie, please.
– Outside. You can smoke mister.
– I don’t smoke. I would like to order a smoothie please.
– Ok. Two and Two. (hands over two glasses of fresh turkish sparkling)
A heaven of misunderstanding. Russian would have been of help, being the most widely spoken language at the place. However, some things look quite nice in mirrors. Look at the hotels outside in Turkeys biggest mirror. Europe’s longest pool, this years bluest water and grass around the windows.
But then we left many a time. Home to sunny Sweden, where I was welcomed by P., a light summer night, a glass of non- turkish wine and absolutely no mirrors.